Beyond the Culture of Silence: The Healing Power of Shared Experiences

Hello! Amaka here again 👋🏾. Today, I want to talk about something that’s been sitting on my heart for a while.

“A problem shared is a problem half solved.”

As a child, I heard this often—usually from an adult trying to coax me into revealing what was clearly bothering me. But despite how often I heard it, I didn’t truly believe it. At the time, I had no evidence that it actually worked.

So I developed a habit of internalizing my struggles. I’d bury problems deep and hope that, with time, they’d quietly disappear. In truth, I wasn’t alone in this.

In many Nigerian homes, vulnerability wasn’t the default posture. There was an unspoken expectation to present strength—even when you were crumbling inside. People mostly shared their wins: perfect grades, flawless careers, thriving relationships.

I remember hearing stories of how our parents were always top of their class. So when I struggled in a subject, I didn’t feel safe admitting it. I thought something was wrong with me. Why couldn’t I be effortlessly excellent too?

For more than 25 years, I coped with pain and disappointment by going inward—alone.

What Changed?

With the rise of blogs, podcasts, and vlogs, I began to encounter people who didn’t pretend. People who shared their failures, doubts, missteps, and insecurities.

And guess what? They were so much more relatable than those who seemed to live perfect lives. Their stories gave me the courage to start opening up.

When I began sharing my own goals, frustrations, and fears with trusted people, I realized two critical truths:

• Sharing with the wrong people can be damaging. Some folks may not handle your vulnerability with care. They may diminish your experience, dismiss your feelings, or even use your openness against you.
• Sharing with the right people can be transformative. The right listener can catapult you into peace. They can offer wisdom, perspective, encouragement—or just a safe space to be human.

The Unexpected Benefits of Sharing

When done with the right people, sharing can:

• Help you learn from others’ experiences
• Prevent unnecessary mistakes
• Increase clarity and focus
• Lighten emotional loads
• Strengthen your support network

So Should We Share Everything with Everyone?

Absolutely not. That’s where discernment and community come in.

If possible, identify someone who has done what you’re trying to do—or someone who’s overcome what you’re currently battling. This could be a mentor, a friend, a colleague, or even a podcast host you deeply resonate with.

But remember: people’s personal experiences will always color their advice. So take what serves you and adapt it to your own values and context.

In the professional world, this might look like joining an empowerment network or mastermind group. In your personal life, it might mean cultivating emotionally safe relationships where vulnerability isn’t punished but protected.

Whether your goals involve fitness, parenting, marriage, financial growth, or healing from past trauma, the right relationships can make all the difference.

And if no one comes to mind right now, that’s okay too. Consider working with a life coach, therapist, or mentor. Sometimes, having a neutral sounding board is the best gift you can give yourself.

Flip the Script: Be That Person

Are you in a position to be that person for someone else?

• Check in on your people
• Offer a listening ear without judgment
• Start a small community of like-minded folks at different stages of growth

Support doesn’t always require expertise—just presence.

In Summary

Choosing to share your goals and struggles with the right people could be the difference between growth and stagnation, clarity and confusion—or even peace and burnout.

Do you have a tribe to hold you up, or are you walking this path alone?

Let’s talk about it—right here in the comments 👇🏾